Just A Little Bit Of This And A Little Bit Of That

WELL, HELLO!

Laneah always loves it when she gets to spend sometime with her cousin William. It is so fun seeing them interact with each other and how playful they can be with each other. A month ago we were able  to go to the Denver Zoo! We saw lions, tigers, and bears oh, my! And of course much more. When we were in the tropical part of the Zoo. Will and Laneah held hands with each other as they went and look for little animals.. William would not want to let go of neah's hand. Everytime she does, he always asked for her hand. He would reach for her hand and says.. "hand, neah. Hand." And Laneah would not know what is going on & that I had to help her reach for Will's hand. :) 

We bought Laneah a winter hat & I think its time to get her a winter coat since most of her jackets are like for the beginning of fall. It will keep her warm but not warm enough when it does gets really cold. Doesn't she look so cute in this cute little beenie? Anyways- I don't know if I've ever mentioned this; but when Nathan and I both started to feel like it was time to start thinking about having a baby, I have never felt a more nerve-wrecking feeling in my life. I thought flying from the middle of nowhere to Colorado was nerve racking. Well, maybe at the time it was... But boy when you start thinking about parenthood and knowing that it is a forever calling, just gives you the chills from head to toe. I don't know about you, It took me forever to feel that I can do this whole parenting. I mean if my mom can do the single parenting for as long as I can remember, so can I! Anyways.. Yes, it literally took me my whole pregnancy to realize that parenthood was coming. And that I am going to be a mom in less than an hour from when they woke me up from my  peaceful nap and told me my cervix was a ten. YUP!! TRUE STORY! People would ask me are you excited to be a mom?! Sure I nodded with excitement but inside of me, I felt all kinds of emotions.  I felt scared through my whole pregnancy. I was scared that my baby would turned out ugly.. (lol i know, you don't have to tell me twice) I was scared that she would keep me up for the rest of my life. (i guess that feeling will never go away, does it?) I was scared that once they cut the cord that she wouldn't be crying.  I was scared that my body will never be the same. I was scared for selfish reasons, really. But I felt that all those fears that were eating inside of me, was because someone didn't want us to bring a precious child into a home. Especially in a home with loving parents who love each other. 

But now, as I look back. I am glad we both listened when we did. I glad we jumped in with faith knowing that everything will be alright. I look at her now, and all the emotions that I felt turned into love, understanding, patience, selflessness, etc. She makes my heart filled with more love than I can comprehend. Being a mom changes how you feel and I see things differently now. I felt the thing that I has been missing in my life has been her all along. She makes me want to do better. Like today, when  I was clipping her toenails, she ran her hands through my hair and has moved my head up to look at her so that she could give me a smile and a welcoming kiss. Its always the simple things you need to make your day a little brighter.  

Nathan has been working so hard to provide for our  little, not so little family. He will be a regular worker in the post- office hopefully by the end of this year. It is in the process now. Since someone has quit and they now have available spot for him. Lets hope that they won't wait till Christmas to give him that spot. He has been waiting almost 3 years to earn a spot as regular rural carrier. And now, he is finally feeling like he is catching a break from the countless hours that they had made him do. Don't get me wrong, he is grateful for the hours and the money. But they treat the subs terribly. They made him work Sundays for almost a month, even after requesting for sundays off. And when he does get it off he is in military leave. Still means he misses church. Yesterday was the first time in a long time since he was able to go to church. It was nice having my husband back. Anyways When Nathan does become a regular, It will be such a huge blessing in our family. For a long time, we have been trying to figure out how Nathan can be a full time student and be a full time provider. He didn't want to quit the post office nor did he not want to stop going to school. So, when he did apply to Metro denver university.. He kinda applied a little late in the season. We weren't sure how much financial aid we would get. And how much they would cover for school. And we didnt want to pay out of pocket money to pay for school because we didn't have enough. And even if we did that would have swiped our savings cleaned, and the thought of not having an emergency savings scares the crap out of me. IDK about you, but it sure does for me.. So anyways, it wasn't till after the deadline to pay for classes has passed, that he did qualify for a good amount to pay for his classes and that made us relieved. And by then, he has decided to withdrawal from all his classes and try again for next semester. Atleast now he knows, that he does qualify for financial aid. So when next semester comes around, he would have already become a regular. Then his schedule won't be as hectic as it already is. So I felt like that it was a blessing in disguise. Pray for him. :) 

This month we were able to attend the Fort Collins temple open house. It was such a magical experience to be able to go three times in a row. The first time we went, Nathan wasn't able to go with us because of work. He didn't quite get out in time. Laneah was so good through the whole session. She was very intuitive to the 10 min video, and wasn't all over the place like a normal one year old would be. So, when we walked over to the temple, we put on the cute little plastic boots. I wish I can find the picture of the three of us wearing plastic boots. Everyone in the temple thought it was the cutest thing on a little one year old. lol. Im a little biased. anyways Again, Laneah was really good to my surprise. She was very observant of her surroundings. She enjoyed being in the brides room- of course. I shared with her what every room was all about. And again, she was very good. Okay, when we went again the second and third time around.. she was very different. She became her self and wanted to tour the temple her way.  And that meant touching everything, and feeling it too. :) i guess she felt more at home than ever. So, the Second time we went, Nathan came. my favorite memory of the temple this time around was watching Laneah. Every room we entered, she would let go of my hand and reach to the floor and kiss it. And she would kiss it and kiss it. And of course, I'm like Laneah, what are you doing.??  I guess that was her way of expressing how much she loves the temple. I know that. Because every time laneah sees something she loves, she goes over to that toy and kisses it. And I felt that was her way of saying she loves the temple. The third time, we brought Will and Laneah again to the temple. It was always such a neat experience to be able to go to the temple. It was fun being able to bring children and to see how they react to something so sacred. It is so rewarding.

 We can't wait for the temple to be dedicated so that we could go in more frequently instead of our daily monthly visits. I am even more grateful to have a temple closer to us now. I sometimes forget what its like to have a temple so close to us. And how much I take it for granted. The luxury of being able to go to the temple whenever you want is so wonderful. 

When I was living on Saipan, I remembered that the closest temple was either the Tokyo temple or the Manila temple. And I remembered that we couldn't afford to just to hop on a plane to Japan or the Philippines. So it took me 18 years maybe less but I did get to go to the Tokyo temple and get sealed to my parents in 1994.  I hardly remembered what that was like until recently.. Well, how was that possible? Well, I guess.. I was doing sealings one day, and there was a sealing that had a sister and a brother that got sealed.. well.. i don't exactly remember what was going on. But at the time that I was doing sealing, I started wondering what it was like when I got sealed to my parents. And what that must have been like. Then I had a little flash back to the memory, and felt the spirit saying to me, "this is exactly what that day was like" As soon as I heard that prompting, I felt happy. And I felt like now, I know what these kids that are being sealed to their parents feel. They have their own forever family. :) 

Anyways. We are truly excited. I know that families are meant to be together forever. Temples wouldnt be built if it wasn't meant to be for that purpose. I love this gospel. I know it to be true, and I believe it to be true. I love you all so much!