A couple of month ago, I was
invited to attend my sister's endowment session. when my sister entered the
celestial room for the first time. I told her how sorry I was that I didn't
make it in. I told her I was there exactly at 9 like she told me. She
said, Vanessa you idiot my session started at 930... I missed her session, it's
almost like my brain shut off and I completely forgot what time I needed to be
there. I felt humiliated. I almost wanted to scream, and say I can't believe
that I missed my sister's endowment session. Well, on the bright side, at least
it wasn't her wedding! In that moment, I desperately wanted to go in the
closed doors to be there for my sister. I wanted them to pause a session so
that I could be there for her. I wanted it so badly. But, I knew I was too
late. I came prepared, well, I thought I did. After all the embarrassment,
I felt like God was trying to teach me a lesson. A lesson that needed to be
taught. A lesson that I thought I understood very well. But I guess not. My
mind wandered somewhere else as I tried to push away all of my frustration.
The
story of the ten virgin came into my head. We all know the parable of the ten
virgin, right?! Well, it goes like this.. well this is according to my
understanding, so don't judge me if I don't get it completely right on.
So there are ten virgins, who took
their lamps with them to see the bridegroom. Five of them brought oil to keep
their lamp going, and five of them didn't. As the time went on, the five that
came unprepared ran out of oil. They desperately begged for more oil from the
other five, but they said, "no. theres not enough for the both of
us." So, the other five looked for more oil. While the other five
searched, the bridegroom opened the doors and welcome the other five that had
sufficient oil. As soon as the other five found some oil they immediately
raced to the wedding but as soon as they got there the doors were closed They
had missed the bridegroom. They desperately wanted to go in. They wanted to be
apart of this special moment. In my own understanding, the oil represents our
own testimony, our daily one on one time with God, etc. And I feel that the
lamp represents us, too. The bridegroom is our savior, and the time that we are
waiting for is the second coming, or death to meet Him.
In some ways, we are the other
foolish women. Sometimes we think, all we need is just the minimal to get
through daily life. Sometimes we feel like we just need just a sliver of oil to
get by. What if we don't have enough? What do we do now? As this story plays
over and over again, I started to think about my own life. What am I doing to
make sure that I have enough oil to last me through the day, the weeks, the
months, the years. etc? What is my relationship with God? Do I understand the
scriptures to know that it is true? Do I still believe that there is a God?
Am I patient with myself to hear the Holy Ghost? Do I let Satan take my
life and destroy what I believe in? Its questions like that, that made me
really think where do I really stand. Sure, I fall. I fall all the time. I
forget. Im human. While I was sitting in the celestial room, I feel like
Heavenly Father gave me the lesson. And I knew that I couldn't live my life
just giving the minimal anymore. I knew that my relationship with God will be
in trouble if I don't put meaning to what I stand for. Otherwise, I might be
living all in vain. I cannot live off my parents testimony.
I knew I needed to change, but I
didn't know what till that very day. I came out of the temple a different
women. A changed women. My heart is going to the right place, and I need to
keep going there. I encourage everyone to sincerely pray and ask God what lack
ye yet? What is stopping you from progressing in life? And ask yourself, What
can I get from this to make me a better person? Life is a journey to be
enjoyed. Don't forget that. The lesson I learned that day was exactly
what I needed to learn.
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